Dancing Queen

I'm wearing all the rainbows this month (yes I have more)!

I actually started this as a post to my personal facebook page...and then realized it was going to get long. It's not actually about dancing, but it is about queens (and everyone everywhere celebrating pride all at once). Gatherer's brother is gay. Actually I have 3 brothers, but the brother I grew up with. The one who I think knows most of my deep dark secrets is gay. I love him as much as I can love any human I did not make with my own body. He is not the only gay person I know but he is my favorite. As far as I know, my brother may be one of the laziest selfish humans out there but I do with every cell in my body, love him. Why does it matter that Gatherer's brother is a lazy selfish gay human? Because I know for a fact he wouldn't choose to be gay if it were a choice. It's hard. It's hard not knowing who it's safe to tell, who you can trust. It's hard wondering if someone is going to be so offended by who you love and how you love (or lust or care about) that they will disown you, or worse yet harm you, or try to kill you. Don't get me wrong, he is a loud (so loud) PROUD gay man, but this life has been difficult for him. Being a gay man in the South with a mostly Republican family came with challenges I think he's done fairly well at navigating.

I'm very much so a person who believes that in a world where you can be anything, be kind. I only care what flavor of LGBTQIA+ or not that you are in that it makes you...you. As I don't believe an any particular deity, I certainly don't believe in sin (not in a real way, you might hear me say something like not being a Braves fan is a sin, or not liking sweet tea is a sin, or going on a 20 mile run is a sin...but it is always in jest). People should be good by doing good. I don't know where I stand on trans athletes, I want them to play just like anyone else, but I get that there are physiological differences that can make that even playing field...complicated. I do know that I stand on the side of having honest and kind conversations about what is best for all athletes. I do know where I stand on bathrooms, if someone pretends to be trans to try to rape me in a bathroom (that is the most outrageous one I've seen) then it isn't the trans person I need to worry about but the hetero guy that wants to commit a crime. I've heard more about Catholic priests molesting children than I have any drag queens...just saying.

I stopped going to church in high school because they wanted us to pledge to boycott Disney because they held gay pride days, this was back in the late 90's. A certain FL governor apparently missed the memo and actually got married at the house of mouse, it is really comical. I have always always always been an advocate for the fact that consenting adults should interact with other consenting adults as they wish. Woman, man, neither, both, all the partners, one partner, no partners...you do you boo. I can't see any good reason to judge or condemn people who try to do good and be good because the partners they choose. I personally mostly shy away from public displays of affection but I have no problems if my natives see people (appropriately) expressing love in public. I'd rather them see two people of any gender identity kissing, than I would them see someone get shot.

My left friends and family don't think I do enough to combat the -ists and -isms they see on the right. I went to a conference and heard the best line ever "I can be right, or I can get things done". I choose to be as gentle as I can with my friends and family on the right. While I may never change their minds, I can encourage them to challenge their beliefs and to try to push them to be kinder, more understanding, more accepting. My friends and family on the right think I'm a "disgusting, rude, "woke", libtard". Truth is I'm really middle of the road. I tend to be fairly conservative from a fiscal stand point, I believe in states rights without significant government overreach. But I also believe we should have a healthy educated public. I think we should protect the rights of everyone to access education and health care. I want the right to choose my healthcare options with my physician.

What's painful is that because of social media I see people I love deeply making the most disgusting comments about how much they hate anyone not like them. I see horrible comments about people who are LGBTQIA+, about people who are undocumented, about women who don't fit the pray and obey good little quite wife role, about people who are in reality just different from them. I wonder sometimes if these people know I can see what they write, if they care that others can see. I wonder if they are so convinced it's okay to hate that they take pride that people can see it. I think this is where religion and I went off the rails because I just can't fathom a world in which its okay to hate anyone. This whole hate the sin not the sinner bs is just that, bullshit. Because for the LGBTQIA+ this isn't something they DO it is who they ARE. So if you hate the sin, you are hating part of their fundamental being. I am never open about where I am on the human spectrum because most people see me as a soccer mom, married for over a decade to a man, I'm fortunate enough that my sex and gender identity are the same...I look "normal" on paper but I do sit in the + part of the LGBTQIA+ world, I won't say how or why or what because to be honest I don't have the support at home or away. I have very few people who do know and I've only shared it with people I felt I can absolutely trust (maybe a few times in conversations with random strangers I never will see again). When I say I celebrate Pride with pride, I'm only half telling the truth because I choose to keep a very real part of me to just me because there's Hunter and the Natives in my world and that world is sacred for me. When I say I'm an advocate and an ally I'm 100% truthful and I struggle and strive to be a better one everyday for my brother, my friends, my loved ones, and all the people who just need to know there's a safe person.

You want to go to a protest...cool. I'm not great with crowds or with authority figures. You know what I am great with...write my number on your arm in sharpie, you end up in jail...call me I'll be down there to pick you up. You need a place to eat for a major holiday cause your family won't support you, come on. You wanna wear a sparkly prom dress and rock a full beard out to dinner with me, you do it (but if its cold out imma tell you to put on a coat, I'm southern and no matter what a doctor says I still say you'll catch a cold if you don't). You want company when you shop for new clothes so you look on the outside how you feel on the inside...I'm there. Your body is not a sex object for someone to stare at, it is your body, it should look on the outside how you feel on the inside. What you do with your body should be your choice. The parts it has or does not have, how much of it you show or don't. Its yours and the world would be a better place if we didn't worry so much about what others are doing with their bodies.

I'm not a fighter, I'm not confrontational, it has taken me years of therapy to learn to say no and advocate for myself and create boundaries and it STILL makes me nauseous (I find it slightly easier when its for the natives). What I am is a person who loves deeply, who cares deeply. I worry about my friends, my work kiddos, my family all of the time all day and if any of you ever say "I need you" or heck even just "hey it would be nice if I had a little support in this thing" I'm there. Be careful who you hate, it might be someone you love. May you have a safe and happy month of Pride to celebrate the freedom of love and to live authentically as you.