Flashing Lights

Choosing workout clothes used to be a major chore. I wanted to hide my stomach, I only wore long leggings, I bought the cheapest stuff I could find on Amazon and FiveBelow. I had the same pair of sneakers (am I the only person who calls them sneakers?) and no matter how much I hated them I would wear them for YEARS.

The first thing to go was the tanktop/long shirt that always had to cover my sports bra. Because bras are so taboo right? The shirt was always in the way pulling in the wrong places and I couldn't see my muscle movement. Screw it, my leggings are high enough to cover my gut, and the sports bra is thick enough to hide those super offensive nipple outlines cause its not like anyone knows I have them. Let them judge (no seriously please don't judge me, cocky Gatherer says things terrified insecure Gatherer wishes she wouldn't).

The next thing to go were the high-waisted yoga pants. I don't care that you can see my pale, scrawny, bruised from playing with the natives legs because I have squats to do and I have to keep pulling the damn things up anyway so you don't see mah butt crack from the weight I lost. Then the shorts got shorter because it is so much easier to do squats in a 2.5 inseam...and its not like I have a butt to see anyway despite all the squats I just mentioned.

The absolute last thing to go was shoes. Y'all, I really do love shoes but for some reason I just HATE paying for them. I had a rule about never paying more than $100 for shoes. For the runners out there, stop laughing I know y'all take out mortgages to pay for those things, for ladies that love those expensive ass heels, there is no way I'm justifying that cost, they are pretty but Hunter couldn't care a bit less about shoes so I'm not worried about it. But when you run a minimum of a mile a day (up to three but only if I can't get to weights that day at all) and you start lifting heavier and heavier...your base starts to matter. I bought some I like then realized I had worn through them AND they were decorative more than functional. I bought a pair of Merrells I LOVED but they discontinued the style. Bought some NoBulls but they had too much rise and hurt my calves on lifting. I tried converse knock-offs...some of us may have forgotten how thick and ridged those soles are and they suuuccckkkkk on a run. Still cute though. For anyone counting that's like 4 pairs of kicks in two years.

I'm at a happy place with my workout clothes, I absolutely love the company I've been buying from for the past few months. The shoe situation is still complicated, I have some I found on amazon that I like for now, but I'm certainly not going to stay in a bad shoe relationship anymore. I never and I mean never would have seen myself as the person who could write a 3 minute blog on workout clothes and shoes but here we are.

If you are wondering the point of this article, it is simply to state, it is so much easier to show up for yourself if you feel good about yourself. I don't mean go off and buy clothes and stuff you can't afford, what I mean is find what makes you feel good that you can afford and then don't be afraid to invest in it and show off in it. Not just for working out...like everyday. If you feel sassy in that summer dress, DO IT. If you think gray sweats are hot (I mean attractive not temperature) WEAR IT. Today I'm rocking a black spaghetti strap dress, those god awful black and white chuck knock-offs (they are so cute!), and pig tails. Yes I know I'm a 40 year old professional but I am cute today and I feel great. My journey with attire is complicated, there's guilt for spending the money but also guilt if I don't look attractive enough to be with my partner. I've told Hunter on more than one occasion, when I walk into a room, I want people to think I'm attractive (I desperately need them to like me remember?). I don't want to interact with them, but I want them to think, damn this chick has her shit together. Optics and all. Lately I've been working on thinking I'm attractive to myself...that's a little more difficult but day by day right?

(for anyone wondering the connection to the Yeezy song Flashing Lights, my most recent sets of clothes are reflective. Also that line "As I recall I know you love to show off")