That time I lost my temper

Y'all, I was afraid Gatherer was going to get herself thrown out of a restaurant on Sunday. Hunter's sportsball team was playing but not televised and we are frugal so no NFL Sunday ticket or anything like that. While Gatherer thinks nothing of heading to the local watering hole all by her lonesome (and judge as ye will I honestly probably prefer it) Hunter really doesn't enjoy sitting at a bar alone and people watching so he asked if the Natives and I would be so kinds as to watch the game with him at the bar. When I go alone I have random chit chat with strangers that I'll likely never see again, I make friends with the bartenders (or at least casual acquaintances, in which I vocalize my appreciation for their time and work and try to stay the f out their way), I can order as I like without being too concerned that I'm being judged for how much I'm spending on my drink, and I don't have to worry about how large the 4 person bill might be if it's just me. When Hunter goes out I think it feels like a performance without accolades and so it he doesn't get the recharge he does from a show or being around a group (that shit is exhausting to an introvert but apparently it's extrovert crack). The day had started out difficult, I made a joke that I thought was funny, that didn't go over well and Hunter and Gatherer were a bit at odds because of it. Very few people enjoy my humor, poor Hunter is no exception. We headed to the gym to unload some steam and Hunter didn't have a great workout so was still a bit edgy. We went ahead and went to watch the game because honestly other than cavework it would have been an uninteresting day and we probably would have continued to prickly with each other (I'm not funny, I really shouldn't try to be, its vary rarely taken well so lessons were learned). We stroll up to the restaurant, and ask for a table near the 1 out of 15 TVs that was showing the sportsball game of interest. This particular TV was in the more bar(ish) area but I certainly didn't have the natives at the actual bar (I mean I don't care if you do, I'm just not going there). This matters in a bit. We order food and beer for the adults and food and not beer for the natives. I do what any sane good parent does and give the natives their stone tablets of distraction. I worked in restaurants enough in my life to be hyper aware of how my family behaves and what my natives do. I don't let people take up too much of the server's time, we make eye contact, we say please and thank you, we don't yell, cry, or scream, we do not throw food on the floor, we pre-bus our table (unless at a nicer place where you can tell you are not supposed to do that). The natives were being particularly good. I only had to remind them a few times about their volume (both from their mouths and their devices) and Hunter was watching his game while I occasionally glanced up from reading the shite show on reddit to watch a play of said game or to monitor the natives behavior. Hunter's sportsball team was not playing well, and on top of still being irritated with me he was now irritated at the grown men being paid too much to play games. I say it this way because at the table next to us, there was a mostly grownish man being very very vocal about his sportsball team not being able to play games either. Drunk dudes in bars have never bothered me, and never will. This particular drunk dude kept dropping some loud F bombs. The F bomb is my favorite of all bombs, and again I reeaaalllyyyy don't give a fuck (see what I did there). Well Native 1 looked up in shock and indignation at one point, he is at that stage where he is super aware of language and I'm always reminding him grownups can use the language of their choice, as can he when he's a mostly grownup. I believe there are no "bad words" you just need to be able to understand the appropriate time and place and to be aware of offending others.

Drunk dude's friends gave him a bit of a reminder about the fact that he was in a place were there were tiny humans and this turd head proceeded to say "I don't fucking care that's what you get when you bring your fucking kids to a bar". My natives were not the only ones in this restaurant guys, they weren't event the only or youngest in this particular area. I saw red. You don't get to judge where I take my kids if you are acting like one. If there is a kids menu AND it has more than one option, I'm assuming natives are tolerated if not welcome. This grownass man thought he was a bad ass in his sports ball jersey being all mad and loud and drunk. I thought he was a child who should be ashamed that the (I counted at this point) 7 kids around him were all much better behaved than himself. I sat and debated for a second. Do I say something? Do I apologize for my kids being in public? Do I throw a right hook and punch his drunk idiotic face in? (anyone who knows how nonviolent and non confrontational I am is laughing a little at this image) I mean your talking to the woman who definitely apologized for not being good enough when dumped by boyfriends past and who's debating if she should apologize for having offspring in a public place its not likely I'm going to stand up for much here.

So I stood up, put my mask on. And I walked over to that man's table. I stood right next to his drunk ignorant personage and said "you're right sweetheart, I did take my kids into a restaurant with a bar, but right now they are better behaved than you. I didn't say a word and neither did the other 2 tables of parents, but your friends did...so maybe you act like an adult and listen to them". And I walked to the bathroom shaking. I almost threw up. I thought for sure the manager would be at our table asking us to leave when I returned. This would have been almost doubly shaming because this watering hole is my watering hole of choice and I've had friendly conversations with most of the managers at some point. As in they recognize me and usually provide a polite how ya doing smile and nod if not a full smile and wave. There was no manager there however the bartender/sometimes manager did drop off the check for us about a minute later and I was definitely recognized with a hearty smile and how ya doing why aren't you in a Braves jersey as he trotted back off to other duties as assigned. Drunk guy looked straight forward, not a peep. I was either promptly forgotten about or that mean bitch at the bar. I'm not sure I care. Hunter's sportsball team did not win, however I did confirm with the expert that his sportsball team still has a chance at making it to the big game for his flavor of sportsball. His mood did not improve and I felt nauseous and just anxious for the rest of the evening. We were a pair for sure.

While this little attempt to stand up for something may seem small to you, it was huge for me. In the past I would have just sat angry and impotent. I said something, I took up space, the fool did watch his behavior for at least the remaining 15 or so minutes we remained, and in my mind I call that a victory. It's probably not a thing I'll ever do again because it didn't feel particularly great I now know sink holes don't open up when you open your mouth to stand up for yourself.