Where's Waldo

When childhood catches up with an attempt to adulthood

Where's Waldo (or Wally for those of you across the pond) came out in 1987. For what was mostly an only child (older step sister...complicated families) in world before video games were common and accessible to the lower middle class and Sunday morning cartoons, were mostly for real on Sunday, this book was amazing. I searched for Waldo, for the Wizard, for all of the tiny little pieces, canes, glasses...all the things that I just can't remember at 40. My parents worked full time in very hard labor jobs. Not that either of them would admit to it, after all it was just the work you did to pay the bills, and work is work. So for me, it was often being picked up from daycare, helping out some around the house (it felt like more than "some" to my 6 year old self), while my mom made dinner, it was time to read or do homework. After you've read all the books in your house at your age level, and then a few above your age level...you get a little desperate for distractions and if it is bad weather outside you sure aren't going to ride your bike or bake mud pies.

Waldo has nostalgia for me. It was from before when I knew about life. When the idea of becoming a Disney Princess felt like a real job opportunity. Not that I wanted it, but it was a possibility. At 6 I think I wanted to be a teacher. By 10 it had changed to marine biologist. I took biology in high school and changed my mind fairly quickly (didn't like it one bit). Most days I think I still want Disney Princess to still be a job opportunity but I think I'm more at the Evil Step-Mother age range they hire at Disney. Actually just working at Disney would be fun I think but that is the pesky nostalgia popping up again. But back to Waldo. Just thinking about him and all the time I spent pouring over the large glossy pages, searching, seeking, looking...all I feel is happy. I'm sure difficult things were going on around me, but as a child I just wasn't aware. As an adult, it is really hard to get to that "just happy" feeling. Every now and again it happens, like when I look down at the fluffy head of my child snuggled against me, or I have a conversation with my bright sweet boy about the most random of topics, those moments of pure joy are beautiful and I hold on to them like little snap shots in my head.

When the gym released the theme of their family pool night as Where's Waldo, I jumped allllll over that opportunity. I even made it work for a swim suit. I did NOT purchase Waldo's cane because that felt like an opportunity for the natives to beat each other. I think I was trying to reach back in to that childhood joy. I had fun dressing up and pretending. I liked the cute little natives of other caves that asked me if I was part of the Waldo search the gym set up. The problem is that you can't ever reach all the way back right? Big smiles to hide sad stuff going on in my head and difficult stuff at home, hold those abs in because we can't have any muffin top in these pictures, having deep difficult feelings about complicated relationships with friends and family and trying to navigate adulting. But for a few hours I did think mostly about sitting in my room with my flower bedspread looking at my Waldo book. Part of me almost could remember it being a hot, rainy, summer day in Georgia with the smell of ozone thick in the air, looking at the beach page. Worth it for a cheesy polyester costume and the big smiles on my little natives faces. So worth it.