All my life...

So as Foo Fighters fan, I know what people/Dave has said this song is about, but I think the lyrics are appropriate for anything you search for your entire life. I have a hard time fitting in, no one EVER believes me when I tell them this because I'm a bit of a nervous talker. I keep trying to figure out who I am, I used to think of myself as "the smart one" and then I went to college and realized I'm pretty average in that department. I used to think of myself as "the skinny one" but then I had two kids and got a litttllleee fluffy. I used to think of myself as "the funny one" but then I married an improv comedian (who does not think I'm very funny). From a prior post some of you know I thought of myself as "the good one" but these days I'm not so sure. I don't have a label these days, I mean I have labels that describe me, some I say out loud, and some I keep to myself but I don't have A label. I think I'm closer to figuring out who I am, but starting to realize a bit that just about as soon as I find out, I'll change or something in my life will change and I'll have to figure it all out again.

This was a workout where I was a little more excited about what I was wearing than what I was doing. I got my new sets from my favorite company WODBottom and new 0 lift shoes I found on Amazon for a lot less than I had paid for my last set. The longer I worked out though, the more I got in the groove. If you haven't been able to tell from my posts lately, I've been in my head, so much that I'm starting to worry this morose person is just who I am. I've been trying to coach a friend into looking at things more positively and I think I've been forgetting to try to make myself. Getting into the workout groove helped center my brain for about an hour.

Hopefully I'm not jerking my head up as much as I was before. I might get realigned eventually if I keep at it.

I've been working on my balance and this appears deceptively easy but I look like a drunk pirate every time I do it.

I did this toward the end of my workout. I needed to lift heavy things, I was still at an 11 with the anxiety level for the day. I'm estimating the trap bar at the gym at 50 so lifting 160 lbs a few times definitely used up some energy.

This is your reminder that you should do something every day to feel good about you. To be with yourself and be good to yourself. For me it was finishing off my workout by lifting some heavy things in fancy new clothes and new shoes. For you it might be making a meal you love or taking a drive down your favorite road. If you are like me and you are a grown up still trying to figure out how to grow up and figure out who you are...you aren't alone.